i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
