I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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