Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Its about making memories worth repressing
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
