Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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