Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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