She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
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