Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize