Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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