the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
