Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
