I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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