Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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