I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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