we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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