When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Actions speak louder than pants.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
