My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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