a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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