Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
