Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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