Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
