I'm gonna have a badass scar
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
