I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
