I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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