It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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