Reggie can tackle my bush.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's shark week go big or go home
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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