We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
