the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize