you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
