You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
