At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
