and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
