i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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