how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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