I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
