Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
