i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
