You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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