Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
