Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize