i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.