I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
is wine microwaveable?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.