so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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