When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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