you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
