the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
This is classic penis vs brain.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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