i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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