He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
