nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
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when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
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The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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