well most of my day revolves around power hour
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
