Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
