Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
