please come you make the beer taste better
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
