Where are you?
In a non slutty way
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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