we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I party with great urgency now.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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