Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
