if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize