Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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