I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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